Rob Gregory, owner of Rochester Ford Toyota, tells of a mentor of his who told him, “When things go incorrectly, do you know where you should start? There’s a nice big mirror in the men’s room. Go down and take a look there first.” Rob continues, “Oh, he used to make me angry! I would say, ‘That’s not the problem, it’s them!’” He realized, though, that he didn’t really have any control over anyone, “but at least sometimes, I stand a chance with me. And that’s where it starts.”
As leaders it is very easy to assume the role of Mr. or Mrs. Fix It. It is so easy to see the faults of everyone around us, and it is a place that is very normal for us to go. Just watch one episode of American Idol and you will, temporarily at least, see yourself as one of America’s top talent critics.
Left unchecked, we do the same thing with our families and especially in the workplace. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard the phrases, “If they would just…”, “What were they thinking?”, or “If I were in charge….”
The problem with this approach as a leader is that even though it’s easy to see what needs to be fixed in other people, LEADERSHIP IS NOT ABOUT THEM! Sorry for shouting, but let’s get this straight once and for all.
People are what they are and do what they do in large part because they have the leader they have.
If you want to affect your team, then get to the closest mirror and take a look. Leadership starts with you.
If you ever want to experience a living example of watch someone try to herd sheep, or try it yourself. If you try to push sheep, they are very slow to respond and will eventually scatter. However, if you get out in front of them and lead them, they may follow. I say “may follow” because sheep won’t just follow anyone.
They depend on their instincts in order to know when it is safe to follow you.
Once they trust you, they will follow you wherever you go. Just walk out front, and here they come. Sound familiar?
I am not inferring that your team is a bunch of sheep, but this shows us a very important aspect about leadership. You must go first. You will be infinitely more successful in achieving the team goals if you are “being” what you would like them to “be.” This concept has been around a while. Socrates said it this way: “Let him that would move the world, first move himself.”
It is not enough to know this. If you want to have the team you’ve always dreamed of and the results you know are possible, then you have to weave this idea into your actions. You have to step up and be accountable for the integrity you expect from them, the honesty you expect from them, and the commitment you expect from them.
Every day, every meeting, every phone call, create the standard through your behaviors, and your team will follow you. Now you’re leading.
Jay Larson is an international consultant, speaker, and facilitator focused on helping individuals and organizations alike, create real, lasting and positive change.
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